Disclaimer

This blog reflects my thoughts and opinions. It does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of my company, it’s parent company, my wife, my kid, my clients, my cat, MySpace, my car, or my Macbook. All rights reserved. Subject to change without notice. Don’t quote me on that. Don’t quote me on anything. Patent pending. Think of the environment before printing. Better still, think of Salma Hayek. Outside food not allowed. This call may be recorded for quality purposes. Employees and their family are not eligible. Beware of dog. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Hand wash only. Do not comb your hair in front of this mirror. Accessories shown here may not be part of standard equipment. No substitutions allowed. Tender exact change. For a limited time only. Void where prohibited. It’s only advertising. No warranties expressed or implied. User assumes all liabilities. Not liable for damages due to misuse. An equal opportunity employer. Valaivil mundhade. No shirt, no shoes, no service. Quantities are limited. Please book early to avoid rush. Mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read offer document carefully before investing. Conditions apply. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Quality may vary. No parking. No Standing. No Solicitors. No Spitting. No Kidding. Post No Bills. No substitutions. No one under 18 admitted. Keep away from direct sunlight. Limited one per family. No money down. No purchase necessary. Cash and carry. You do not need to be present to win. One and half after 8.30 pm. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear. Breaking seal voids warranty. Has been shown to cause cancer in laboratory animals. Prasavattukku ilavasam. Action figures sold separately. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models are over 18 years of age. Available in fine stores everywhere. The doctor is in. No hand signal. Preservatives added to improve freshness. Safety goggles must be worn at all times. Hard hat area. Sealed for your protection. The buck stops here. Add toner. Place stamp here or post office will not deliver. For external use only. If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use and consult your physician. Use only with proper ventilation. Sanitized for your protection. Use dipper at night. Avoid extreme temperature. Store in a cool dry place. Refrigerate after opening. Keep away from open flame. Avoid contact with eyes. Wash, rinse, repeat. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Celsius. Do not place near any magnetic source. May be hazardous to your health. Slippery when wet. For official use only. Not affiliated with with any government agency. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Trespassers will be prosecuted. No animals were harmed in the making of this film. No salt, MSG, or artificial color added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting. Horn OK please. Contents under pressure. Restaurant packaging, not for resale. Pull down, then tear up.  Sign here without admitting guilt. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Auto pilot is engaged during flight. Substantial penalties for early withdrawal. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. Other restrictions may apply. Your mileage may vary. Stunts have been performed by trained professionals. Do not try them at home.

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24 Comments

  1. This is the encyclopedia for disclaimers. Wannabe manufacturers, dealers, advertisers and lawyers should be advised to visit your disclamer section for references. Also wannabe phd students who run of phd topics can do one on disclaimers. This page should be a hit in Kolkata for obvious reasons. If i can add some more i shall be back..Definately my LOL moment for the day.. Thank you.

  2. This is the BEST disclaimer I have ever read!
    Please note this opinion is shared by my Levi’s Jeans, Levi’s shirt, Espirit Watch, Hummer phone and Pentium processor!

  3. Mother of all disclaimers! It’s an SOP of how a disclaimer should be written…some Clinical Research terminology just crept in!!:-)

  4. Statutory Warning:
    Jokes can be hazardous to health.
    Laugh Sparingly.

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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  5. Amazing creativity!!

    Equally amazing Blog!!! Why didn't I stumble upon this before!! Now I have to read all that is archived!!

  6. Hahahahaha THE BEST DISCLAIMER I have gone through ever… Your blog is a complete package lucky! food for thought and food for laughter :-)

  7. Some More…
    Keep out of reach of children
    Prices shown are exclusive of taxes
    Contains no fruit. Contains added flavor
    Paati Sollai Tathaade
    Keep Left
    Refer to the website for more details
    Confirm you are NOT a spammer :-)

  8. Hahahaha.. U seem to have done a lot of research
    Here’s some more..
    Please remove footwear outside.
    Keep away from children.
    No smoking.
    Parking at your own risk.
    Coupons not refundable for cash.
    Do not feed the animals.
    Do not buy if packet is puffed.